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San Diego has a reputation as a socially conservative, military town. But look a little closer and you'll find gay people everywhere (many military or retired), out in the open, holding hands in almost every neighborhood. The crowd here is diverse, skews slightly younger and is warm and friendly (300 days of sunshine can make one that way). To navigate San Diego, you'll need a car (and a designated driver) as the hot spots aren't really in walking distance of each other, but there are clusters of the bars and clubs in Hillcrest, University Heights and North Park. For a sampling of the popular places, be sure to hit Bourbon Street in University Heights and Rich's & Flicks in Hillcrest. Swing by North Park for a more rougher feel with leather and bear bars scattered about.
